Remembering...

I was chatting to a friend this past weekend - we spoke about our losses and she asked me how I feel about it now that I've had Ashton.


It's difficult to describe - I always had an idea of what I lost.  And I know all to well what it feels like to 'want'.  You can't know what it's like to want something so badly until the moment you've lost it.


It's quite a realization, all over again, but this time in a different way - only now can I feel the magnitude of what I lost, having held my baby close to me.  I'll always carry my angel in my heart.


I still wonder what would have been, if I would have had a little boy or a little girl, but maybe that means I wouldn't have had Ashton.  I believe everything happens for a reason, and it has all brought me to where I am today, and I have never felt or experienced happiness like I do now.

"Having a place to go - is a home. Having someone to love - is a family. Having both - is a blessing." ~Donna Hedges