Thursday, September 30, 2010

Plan.

I had an appointment with my gynae tomorrow morning.  I phoned his offices on Tuesday to schedule it.  He asked me to bring my cycle data along, and it's all ready.  


But...







My step sis has been doing some research for me this week (cause yes, I'm too CHICKEN to make that call myself).  She contacted a Fertility Coordinator to ask for advice for me, who got right back to her.  She asked me to please contact her when I was ready,  so I sent an email to the Fertility Coordinator this morning, and she just phoned me.  

In a nut shell, there are two positives:
1)  I am still YOUNG as she put it
2) Even though my pregnancy was a total DISASTER, we know that sperm met egg once before

She spoke about the consultation and the cost for that and said we would go from there.  This specific consult could be claimed from medical aid because it could be seen as a "follow up" to my ruptured ectopic.  The first consult includes an ultrasound, and discussion.


She said I am right to be worried about my remaining tube, and said that they would need to do a special X-ray in order to see if it is functioning.  This X-ray apparently looks at the normality of the uterus cavity, and tests the remaining tube.  In normal circumstances they would tell us to wait for a year (because we're YOUNG remember) and then see them if we are not successful.  So lucky me, I am now high risk or a "special case".  She also said she would have seen me and referred me to a doctor immediately if I had called them after my ordeal.    

So I need to cancel my appointment for tomorrow morning, and ask him exactly what was wrong with my other tube / what work he did on me, and then phone her back to schedule an appointment with the Fertility Doctor.  DH seems to remember him saying that my left tube was folded over/stuck to my ovary and that he "fixed" it and made sure it was clear.

I'm such a chicken, I feel so much better after speaking to Anne.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Happy. Confused. Devastated. Oh well.

I did an HPT on 26 September - and got a faint positive.  I cried because I was so happy.  We both saw the second line.  

Later that day I went for bloods (thanks Kirsty for taking me), and the results were negative.  Confused.
Monday morning guess who arrived.  Devastated.  Cried some more.  My DH just held me, there wasn't anything more could he do.
 Oh well.  We try, we fail, we try again.
I feel so stupid, for letting myself get so excited for nothing.  For getting him excited.
For the disappointment.Who makes those HPTs anyway?  They should be SHOT.



Sunday, September 26, 2010

Birthday - let's eat cake!

My hubby turned 31 today!  
Happy Birthday to the love of my life... I love you babe.  Forever and always.



Sunday, September 12, 2010

Breakfast in bed

Lucky me, I got woken up to breakfast in bed this morning, early early just before DH came off shift.  He made chicken sausage with scrambled egg and tomatoes, with coffee.  I was booked off work with the flu on Thursday and yesterday, and he even brought me my tablets to have after breakies.  He really takes such good care of me.

Friday, September 10, 2010

She's here :)

brand new baby Jessica

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Someone's coming into the world today...

My dad's girlfriend's daughter is having her baby today, she's scheduled to have a caesarian at 5.  It's a little girl, I think her name will be Jessica, such a pretty name.  She said she's feeling a bit scared, but I think she's going to be just fine, she's in good hands and those doctors know what they are doing.


I'm a tiny bit heartsore but for the most part I'm so happy for her.  I think she's going to be a great mommy, and I'm sure Jessica will be a beautiful baby.


I hope to have a picture to upload soon.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Children...

It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

September, I remember you.

To the little soul I never knew,

My world lost a little light, that day and it's been a dark place since then.
Are you happy where you are?  Do you laugh?  
What's heaven like?
It would have been your birthday soon.  

I remember you. 

I'm on my knees today, talking to God again, I hope He's near. 

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:6)

Eject!

My Dad's Gifriend's daughter sms'd me this morning. She is having a C-sec on 9th September, she was due on 27th. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment as that would have been very close to my due date.  I also got a scan picture.

I am very happy for her but I've been thinking about this all day.

I don't even feel like visiting my dad's place any more cause every time I go his GF reminds me that "julle sou nou saam geloop het" and then proceeds to whip out all the clothes and things she and my dad has bought for her daughter and the baby. Is she moronic?  I am well aware of this fact.

Just needed get this off my chest, it hurts.  People are so insensitive, can't they think before they do or say?  


I wish I could press an eject button and disappear for a bit.