The first inkling...

It was Friday, 2 December.  I was at work.  A colleague and I popped out for lunch but parked far far away from the shopping centre we were going to so we walked, walked and walked some more.  I felt a bit tired when we got back to her car, but hey I'm unfit, so some exercise can only help.


We got back to the office and I was suddenly starving!  I ordered a Nandos pita, then had a chocolate croissant and a muffin from reception, and then asked our tea lady to go and buy me some more noodles downstairs from Woolies (she had some earlier that week and they smelled divine so two of us asked her to go and get for us).  After the noodles I was still starving - and then thought WTH is wrong with me?


On Saturday, 3 December I went to pick up some groceries and some fruit.  To my surprize I noticed the noodles were on special, 4 packets for R20.  I bought a bag full.  Arrived home and made myself some noodles.  Kevin was wondering why I had bought so many, but after my convincing him of how delicious they are I made some for him too.  He still says they weren't so great.  I told him he had no taste!  By groceries and fruit I actually meant noodles and grapes.


I also stopped by Clicks to buy a pregnancy test as I've had some tenderness for the last 2 weeks.  I did my thing, looked at the stick and saw nothing, and thought 'okay shouldn't be long now then af will be here', finished up and as I got up I looked again and there it was, my 2nd line!  My initial thought was oh shit.  I sms'd Kevin to ask him where he was and a few minutes later he arrived home.


He was in the kitchen and I walked in and said, my boobs have been sore for a while and I've been loving those noodles so I did a pregnancy test just to be sure.  So he said okay.  I then said 'and it's positive' - he smiled!  I told him not to smile, we don't know if something is wrong.


I did another test on Sunday morning, same result!


The Monday was our year end function at work, I phoned the doctor and he faxed me a form for rush bloods... and had those done on Monday night.  The rest I think I've already written about.


And that was the first inkling.

I'm going to be a mommy, for reals!

And do you have any idea how good it feels to say that?


Our doctor's office phoned, they had a cancelation so we could come in a day earlier, on Thursday 29 December at 09h30.  I didn't sleep a wink the night before.  No matter how many times I turned over, and closed my eyes, sleep wouldn't come.  So many thoughts going through my head, my heart bursting to know everything is okay.  For the last few weeks I've tried to keep my excitement at bay just in case something goes wrong again.  Kevin wanted to leave later and I insisted we leave earlier, as the doc's offices had moved to a new spot.  Plus we got lost.  We made it in time with 2 minutes to spare.


When I stepped in to reception I had the strangest feeling come over me, almost a combination of panic, worry, excitement and 'this is it'.  We sat down, and Kevin took a pregnancy journal from the desk and gave it to me.  For a split second I thought, if I take this now and something is wrong I will have to give it back... and then I thought nope, this has to be real and stuffed it into my handbag.


We waited for about 10 minutes to see the doctor, my heart racing when walked through the door and picked up my file.  He looked at us and smiled, and invited us to go through.  We took seats behind his big wooden desk and broke into chit chat (is this really the time to discuss Christmas, how I've been doing, what's happening in the new year, food I'm on and off, any morning sickness etc), nevertheless I asked about his move and congratulated him on his stunning new offices - he moved over on Christmas day, with new furniture and brand new equipment).  I had written down a list of questions (yes, another list) and he smiled when he saw them and said I can go through them if I like, to which I answered that my first question is the most important - is my baby in the right place, and is there a heartbeat - after which if the answer is yes we can work through my other questions.  Kevin had secretly been stressing out... his main concern was how many babies there are - turns out my blood tests had freaked him out a bit.  Since my progesterone levels were really high he had been worried that there were 2 or 3 babies.  Lol.  We made a joke about having a few in one shot, so all the work is done!  Shame and here I thought we were both worrying about the same thing - is it viable and in the right place!  The doc asked if my bladder was full and I said well, I went before we left home and it feels like I need to go again, so I'm sure it is.


So he said let's have a look.  He excused himself to quickly tidy up the room, and Kevin sat down on the big fat couch - I was standing nervously and for the first time couldn't stop smiling.  Today we would find out if what we are hoping for will be true.  He called us through and I undid my belt - he started fiddling with his machine and I was a bit unsure of what to do, just before I stripped down I asked if I should get into the gown and he said no, we will do an external scan.


I got on the bed and made myself comfy, looked down at him putting the jelly on my belly (lol, jelly belly!)  - he then took the magig and started with the scan.  I looked at the screen which was turned slightly away... then he turned it so that it was facing us.  And then I saw it!  A little moon shape with a teeny tiny thing in there.  Be still my heart.  At that very moment I thought my heart was going to burst.  I smiled.  He then showed us the little flicker saying that is the heartbeat, and turned on the sound and we couldn't hear anything except what seemed like white noise.  He changed a setting and did it again, and there for the very first time ever we heard the most beautiful sound in the whole world - the little heartbeat.  Nothing can explain the feeling.  At that moment I burst into tears, my belly was shaking and the monitor was jumping.  Kevin was staring at the screen when the doctor said there are some tears rolling now and then he looked at me and held my hand.  Seeing that screen for the first time felt like a bit of a revelation, so unreal yet so real.  The doc said the position is good, right at the top of the womb (so yes to nookie lol) - seems our little thing managed to JUST get in there :).


Our little thing (have got to think of a better word to use here) is only 1.06cm long, and has a strong heartbeat of 154 beats per minute.  Kevin was amazed that something so small could have such a strong little heartbeat.  So small but make no mistake, it is definitely there.  I had to giggle, he first thought the big black part (known as my bladder) was what we are looking for. 


He then took my weight, seems I haven't picked up much yet.  I weigh 75,1 kg.  I think I was 74 kg pre pregnancy.


After the scan we went back to his desk, I put one shoe on and then the doc insisted I run through my questions.  So with one shoe on and one bare foot I went through them all.  Right, down to business.


There isn't a lot I'm not supposed to eat - just sushi, mostly any raw meats, and unpasteurized cheese. For now I need to continue with folic acid only, and begin with other vitamins from 3 months and I should definitely take Omega.  Oh and eat healthy foods.  He doesn't recommend visiting the dentist for any drilling or extractions, due to the extra blood in my body - they might not be able to stop the bleeding - freak!  I asked about what testing needs to happen and he said he will only do tests in the second trimester, as there is a lot of uncertainty now in the first and any findings will need to be reconfirmed later again.  I'm okay with that.  I asked who I could contact if I had any questions, and he said I can phone or sms him at any time - that's really great.  I must phone him immediately if I have any bleeding and pain.  


Our baby's estimated due date is 10 August 2012.  Our next appointment should be end January, I still have to call and schedule it.


Kevin's next 'things to worry about' are if there are ten fingers and toes, and if it's a boy or girl.  Mine?  Just to have a healthy and happy next few months!


What I can't quite understand yet is how I can love this little thing so much already when at this stage I can't feel it, only in my head is it 'there'.  This is it, this is what we've been waiting for, for so long.

7 Day Break

After a bittersweet week where lots happened, it was time for our break.  I think at that stage we really needed it.

16 Dec

Hit the road, stopped for breakfast (Dh ordered an egg burger, vomit, couldn't stand the smell of that), then refueled and had lunch in Ermelo, and travelled to our overnight accommodation in Piet Retief. What a nice place, and great value for money... R530 for both of us including breakfast.  We would definitely stay over at this Guesthouse again should we wander out that way.  Our room was so pretty and we got a slab of chocolate from them!  Dinner was at a little place called just outside of town - which was like stepping into a timewarp - 80s music, strange rock like decor with 'fancy chairs', basically cave-like restaurant meets old hollywood.  The prices were good, and the food was great, but their chocolate mousse sucked!  And we were politely told if we don't like it we shouldn't order it again.  Hmmm.  Noted.  

17 Dec

Had breakfast and packed our overnight bags and hit the road to our next stop, Pongola.  Then as luck would have it we landed up taking a (wrong) dirt road, which took us 5 ours driving at snail's pace to reach our destination.  Funny there was a sign saying speed limit 60km/h.  Madness.  Who will drive 60 there?  Suppose it was a good thing we went that way, we came across an accident.  A guy came off his off road.  Our friends went to find help... turned out he had a broken pelvis, bone in his back, and a broken foot or hand, and a major concussion.  Hectic.  We arrived safely and hit the beach for what was left of the day.  Still not liking eggs.  Ankles swollen from drive.  Phoned to find out how the puppies are doing.

18 Dec

Beach day!  Plus one throbbing, burning boob, for two days straight.  Not happy.  Also phoned Mil for her birthday.  After the beach we headed to the pool for some further relaxing.  Doing nothing is hard work.  Phoned to wish her happy birthday and to find out about the puppies.  I see a pattern developing here. 

 

19 Dec

Boob not any better.  We woke up really early to get to the beach as a few of us had signed up for scuba diving.  Not me, since I'm not allowed to dive with this 'condition'.  Guess who will be missing out.   Diving had to be postponed so we spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool.  I climbed out really stupidly and bruised my shin!  Not my day.  Besides waking up early I felt really naar, so for breakfast and snacks on the beach it was crackers.  I think I'm in denial, totally convinced the naar feeling is due to waking up far too early.  Lol.  Sent sms to find out about puppies.

20 Dec

Boob back to normal but still sore.    Didn't go to the beach... can't remember what we did actually, possibly the pool and virgin cocktails, but I do know it ended off with an afternoon snooze.  Missing puppies.  Went to find the bakery, turns out it's in the grasslands-slash-village... sand, grass, hills and a few dongas later we found it.  

21 Dec

Was offered a bacon and egg roll for breakfast.  Err.  Still can't do egg.  Has pancakes for lunch!!  Another beach and pool day.  Afternoon nap and a cry about my furbaby, she's gone a week already :(

22 Dec

Woke up with a big fat pimple on my face.  Dh became a qualified scuba diver... he did this in 2 days, quite an accomplishment, very proud of him, but still envious.  More beach and pool.  So nice.  Doc's office phoned to move Tuesday's appointment to Friday.  So much longer to wait.  Don't they know how anxious I am to know for sure everything is okay? 

23 Dec

Rainy day... did nothing but lie around the house, we couldn't even go back to the market.  Nearly got attacked by a crazy monkey.  He jumped down onto the patio towards the door and I jumped and ran to close the door.  Called Dh who ran out and went ape, totally chased him away (the security sent warnings about a random lone monkey who has gone nuts, has been attacking women and children in the resort - they have a shoot to kill order and can't find him! - think they should look a bit better).  Oh, and my pimple has friends!  Oh the horror!  

Puppies, Week By Week Development!

After trying to come to terms with pregnancy and puppies, and feeling a little bit frazzled and slightly overwhelmed, I decided to research puppy development just to jot down a few notes on what to expect week by week.  I'll probably do the same for pregnancy after our doctor's appointment, which by the way has been moved thanks to the public holiday on Monday 27th December, to Friday 30 December.  Pffft. 


Hand raising pups has been no joke.  Waking up every 2-3 hours for feeds, getting the formula just right, winding, cleaning and grooming them, keeping them warm but not hot...  but we do it with love.  Mil has been baby sitting for us for the last week, can only imagine she must be exhausted.


Arriving home this morning we were reminded again, we walked in and there was no excited little body shaking and wagging and scrunching up her face she was so happy to see us.  Such a downer, and such a cramp in my heart.


When we saw the puppies we couldn't believe how much they had grown!  Seems they went from lizzards to crocodiles! - all puffed up and 'swollen' to double their size, and totally adorable.


So, today they are 2 weeks old... Seems next week I need to go shopping for tiny toys and teddies!  Wish you could see your little ones Nunu, they are just too gorgeous for words.  We were wondering how many of them will be like you.


Here is a summary of what to expect when you are raising puppies (taken from this website and shortened a little):


Week to week development can vary but most stick to the same growing pattern. Puppies develop quickly within their first two months of life and the changes are so quick that you may miss an important milestone. From the first week to the eighth, you are going see your tiny bundles of joy go from wriggling whimpers to full-blown walking balls of energy.



Week One

The most the puppies can do is wriggle around and whimper for their mother.  During the first week, the eyes will be closed and movement is generally towards their mother or looking for her.  Their days are spent eating and sleeping and being cared for completely by Mom.  

Week Two

Generally, puppies open their eyes during week two although some puppies may take a few days longer.  They are still completely dependent upon their mother for feeding and care. Their eyes may be open but they still are not steady on their feet.

Week Three

This is a week of many firsts for the new litter.  By week three, puppies are starting to really be on the move.  Their adventurous side will begin to show and they will be moving around more often.  The puppies should still be getting their meals from their mother but to place less stress on Mom, you can begin supplemental feedings.  The teeth will start to erupt and puppies will stand and start walking.  Some wet food placed on your hand will be devoured by the three-week old bundles.  Puppies will begin to play so adding some small toys or fabric-type items to their whelping box will provide stimulation.  Pups will also need their first worming at three weeks.

Week Four
During this week, puppies should be eating puppy food without problems but will still be nursing.  They will be walking well and running but will still fall at times.  The puppies will all be interacting together, chasing one another, biting, barking, and wagging their tails. Regular grooming should be introduced which is the beginning of their training that will extend into adulthood.

Week Five

During the fifth week, the puppies should be getting regular supplemental feedings. Small dry kibble should be introduced to wean from an all-wet diet.  This is the preparation stage for full weaning of the pups from their mother by the end of the fifth week.  Take time to interact with the puppies individually so that the young pups begin their socialization training with humans and not just with their littermates.

Week Six

Six-week old puppies should be eating puppy food.  They will also need their second worming at this age.  By the end of six weeks, the puppies should be fully weaned from th but they aren't ready for new homes just yet.

Week Seven

During the puppies seventh week, they are fully on the go and experimenting. At this time, the pups should be fully weaned from their mother and eating regular puppy food from a bowl.  Although the puppies still may not recognize their names, they should still be in training with human interaction, grooming, and regular outside bathroom breaks.

Week Eight

Their attention spans may not be up to par but training should increase during the eighth week.  The puppies should all be learning their names and house breaking should be encouraged.  The once tiny and dependent young will be rambunctious and full of energy.  Leash training can be introduced and as the puppy ages, more extensive training should be encouraged so that you have a well-adjusted and obedient companion.

For many years, eight weeks has been the standard age for puppies to leave the nest and go to new owners. Recently, some who dub themselves "dog experts" have stated that this is far too young for a puppy to leave their mother and/or littermates for psychological reasons. 

Good-Bye Nunu, 14 December 2011

Good-bye Nunu.  I'll never forget how when I got out of hospital for 6 weeks you never leave my side.  You were the little heartbeat at my feet and now you're buried in my heart.  I've never felt more alone that I did the moment I found out you are gone.  Life won't be the same without you.  You were our first 'baby' together and you became our child when we couldn't have our own.  


I remember the far drive out to Brits to bring you home, Daddy was upset because we had to take his new car on a dirt road with rocks and potholes, but when he saw you he forgot all about that.   It was so worth the drive.  I found you on gumtree, and you were the only puppy your mommy had.  We had just bought our first home together and you were our first 'baby'.  You've been with us nearly as long as we've lived here.


You were so tiny you fit into the palm of my hand but no matter how small, you were so adventurous and so brave.  I remember when you jumped from daddy's hand onto my leg.  We almost had a heart attack.  


Daddy carried you around in his gown pocket until you grew too big to fit in there.  You loved his gown, even when the pocket became too small you would paw at us to let you in.


You loved cheese, chicken and tummy scratches, playing ball and your bikkies.  You just loved being loved and everyone loved you too.  You were always there with me.  Everywhere I went, my little shadow followed.


Daddy and I miss you so incredibly and you've only been gone since yesterday.  I know you know we are looking after your babies, you were quietly watching us on Monday night.  I wish I held you for just a little bit longer and that you didn't have to leave us.  Love you my Nunu.   

Our first 'baby'

We took our dog to the vet early Monday morning, she wasn't looking so good.  They put her on a drip and called us to bring her home on Monday night.  I didn't think she was any better.  I held her the whole night and kept her warm, and dh did the puppy drill.   Tried giving her a bit of water, which she drank out of my hand, but also couldn't keep it down.  Yesterday morning DH to take her back to the vet, she still wasn't eating or keeping anything down.  I hope they know I am trusting them with our first 'baby'.


Feeling really sad today, it's not looking so good...our Nunu has fallen into a coma.  DH called to give me the news, of course I left work early today.  You know, the funny thing is when I walk through the door I can feel she's not here at home.  We are waiting for the vet to call.  Please baby, wake up!


I think what gets our hearts so attached to them is their ability to love us so unconditionally.  They calm us and help ease our heart sores, no matter how deep.  

What positive looks like...

There are sixteen days to go until our first scan, we're both a bit nervous.  For now I'll stay positive, and look forward to our appointment, good thing we have a bit of a holiday in between.  This is what positive looks like - there's something awesome about seeing these words, have a look for yourself:

Happy Birth-Day!

Today was an eventful day, our Nunu had her puppies.  Happy birth-day little ones... just look how precious they are!  

    

The best Christmas gift yet.

I've been thinking about a Christmas gift for my hubby for a good few weeks already.  You see, I already have my gift from him, although I was a bit disappointed to get it so early - I'm a ribbons and wrapping kind of girl!  And then, out of nowhere, it just happened.  I've been burning to write about this for the last few days already, so here it is.  Seems he's getting a baby for Christmas!  That has got to be the best Christmas gift yet.


On Saturday I got a BFP, and tested again on Sunday, just to be sure.  My initial reaction was Oh %#&%, followed by a little smile, and then a big worry - after all my remaining tube was repaired.  Went for rush bloods on Monday night - to test for HCG and progesterone.


Tuesday morning, my eyes opened and I was out of bed way before my alarm - this for someone with no body clock.  I was at work at 07h15.  Then the wait for the doctor's call began.  That felt like a lifetime.  I phoned his rooms at 08h50 and Florence told me he wasn't there yet.  I asked her if my fax had arrived and she said it's on his desk.  I phoned again at 09h15, and then at 09h45 he was in a consultation.  There was nothing I could do to bribe this woman.  At this point I started thinking, if there was something to worry about he would have called first thing.  Little smile.  He says I'm about 3 weeks, meaning 5 weeks since Aunt Flo was last here.


He finally called at 10h15.  I answered, he introduced himself, and he asked me how I am.  Hmm.  I asked him to tell me.  He said the results are good.  Hcg levels are 652,5 and progesterone is high at 62.  What's even better is he is happy that we have nothing to worry about.  Normal progesterone levels are 25, and a reason to worry is 5 or less.  No need to go for further bloods, the progesterone test was the key to knowing if I am okay or not.  Our first appointment is on 27 December.  Big smile.


Admittedly, I'm still nervous and worried, but there is nothing I can do so until our first scan I'll just take it easy.  Our prayers have been answered.  DH is very happy, I asked him if he is ready to be a parent, and do you know what he said?  He was already ready a long time ago.  Nuff said.  

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."  ~Norman Vincent Peale

"At Christmas, all roads lead home."  ~Marjorie Holmes

Pink Sky At Night...

I don't often have time to appreciate the sunset, but every once in a while I look up and I'm blown away.  Last night I saw the most beautiful pink sky.  Pity I didn't have a camera with me.  Kind of reminded me of what my mom used to say... "Pink sky at night, Shepherd's delight".  Whether it's polution or not, it's beautiful.  Reminded me a little of the sunset last year, on old year's eve (ok minus the mountain and the sea, but you catch my drift):

I wonder what that old saying means?  Hopefully a sign of good things to come?

"The sky is that beautiful old parchment in which the sun and the moon keep their diary." ~Alfred Kreymborg