4 Weeks Old...

Another week done and Ashton is 4 weeks old.

He's gained so nicely, I had him weighed on Wednesday and he is now 3,02 kgs.  Still can't get over his size, for example, how tiny his little thumb is when compared to mine and how his bottle looks so big.

This little boy is such a blessing and I'm enjoying him so much.  He's getting stronger by the day.  Last week we were sitting downstairs and heard him over the monitor, he wasn't crying or anything but making his usual noises - grunting and so on - and then we heard a new noise.  Hubby went up to see what he was up to and he called me to come and see - Ashton had squirmed up and out of his blankets, and he was sucking on his little elephant toy which is attached to the side of the cot, quite a bit away from where he was sleeping.  We were completely amazed.  I'll try upload the video, but for now here's a photo:

Our puppy Pepper seems to have taken liking to him, or at least found her new favourite spot to lie... she came to have a snooze with us on the bed one afternoon and then later, when I went in to check on him she ran into the room and went to sit near to him, resting her front paws on him.  So sweet.

Last night Mil stayed over, and she did the pajama drill for me.  I got to sleep next to my hubby for the first time since we came home from the hospital.  Not that I got any rest - I woke up so often.  Today hubby and I spent the day together and his mom looked after Ashton for us.  We needed the time out together and it was actually such a good day today!  It was good for us to jave a little catch up.  I feel so blessed to have hubby's mom aound to help us, and she is just crazy about her grandson.  I've alrady asked her to come and watch him a few times.  Twice so that I could sleep, and once so that I could go to interviews.

We haven't received the results from Ashton's blood tests yet.  Can't remember if they were due this week or next week.  I'll phone to follow up though.

My brother came to visit and held Ashton for the first time.  He was so proud.  Totally out of his comfort zone though!  Shame he's been working so hard over the last few he looked exhausted - but still a very proud uncle.

Hubby is just smitten with his little boy.  It's so precious to see it can just melt your heart.  I'll do a separate post about this.  I love my boys so, so much! 

I really miss my mom.  Wish she would get better so that she can come and visit us.  I'm really worried about her.  I phoned her on Thursday last week and for the first time she openly told me about what happened to her, and her state of health.  We spoke for quite a long time, and had some laughs too - I had a complete blonde moment too.  She was telling me about how she still can't use her left hand because it's pretty much lame, and she gets really frustrated - a little example she gave was that her right arm has been so itchy and she couldn't even scratch it - so she told her doctor and the advice she got was to practice picking up some pieces of spaghetti out of a bowl... and put them down in another bowl.  Without thinking any further I asked her in a really confused state "but how does that help with your itch?" - there was silence on the phone and then we both burst into laughter. 

On the job front - I'm not stressing too much about finding a new job at this stage - there are a few opportunities out there, and I keep looking, so we will see what comes my way.  The thing I need to decide is, do I want a full time well paid job, or will I settle for less and be happy with that.  I always said I would never be able to be a stay at home mom, but after having Ashton I keep thinking that I actually could.

I had my hair done on Saturday - a little darker so that I won't have the expense of upkeep with the blonde for now.  It looks okay but I'll probably go blonde again at some stage.

Anyway.  If I could have anything, it would be for my mom to get better.  As for everything else, I have everything I need. 

They pricked him!

Okay so I am starting to think the sleep deprivation is messing with my ears.  They did prick my little guy again today.  Hubby said I must have confused two different conversations. 

The bloods will be sent off on Monday, so hopefully we'll have the results soon.  My little guy was really brave - I am petrified of needles, even more so after that woman got hold of me in hospital, but he did really well.  Just a small cry and it was over.

We also went to have him weighed.  I'm so relieved, he's gained 180 grams in the last 5 days and weighs 2,38kgs now - still tiny but definitely growing.  He was supposed to gain no less than 150 grams by next Monday, over and above his 2,2kgs.

After we got home I pretty much spent the afternoon sleeping, thankfully hubby was working from home so he helped out with feeding and changing - and this afternoon he came to have a snooze with us.  I even got breafast in bed this morning.  Trying to get up was another story though.  I think I was beyond exhausted today. 

A little update on Ashton - he's definitely more alert this week, looking around, sticking his tongue out, pulling faces (shame, I often laugh at him - seems he can't control his facial expressions just yet - some of the expressions are priceless!), lifting his head up when I hold him against my chest burping him, making little noises here and there.

I love my little family xx

The first days home

Yesterday marked the first week of being home, and Ashton was one week old on Thursday!  I still look at him and think he could have still been in my belly.  The car seat is still massive - the poor little guy looks like an accessory.  I'll have to upload a photo at some stage.

I think we've been settling in ok.  The first night home was really scary without having the nurses as back up, but we made it.  I don't think I slept a wink - I was worrying if my baby would live through the night, and stressing about what I would do if he stopped breathing.  It seems a  little dramatic now, looking back.  I've had two really tough nights, where I was up every hour, but it's amazing how the body copes with little sleep.  As long as I get some sleep, I'm ok. 


The last few days have been a bit rough, but we made it through.  Ashton hasn't been eating well at all, meaning we've been battling to get him to gain some weight. Feeding him has been really hard work - not that I have experience with feeding any other babies...


Anyway we saw the paed on Friday, and she said under normal circumstances she would have admitted him for tube feeding, so we need to up his feeds drastically. I felt horrible and just sat and cried in her office. She said if he refused another bottle over the weekend we have to take him in, even if it's at 3am in the morning.


When I dried my tears she said I must think about sending him in anyway, if I need to rest and regroup. I told her that's not happening - we will do our best over the weekend and if we struggle we will take him in, but I'm not going to give up just like that. Still, it was a big pill to swallow.


She also told me to stop trying to breastfeed him for now, just keep expressing and topping up with formula until he picks up and we can try again later. The 5 minutes we were trying to bf ended up in him using up most of his energy.


I'm relieved to say that it went well, he's gained 200grams. He weighs 2,2kg today. His next check up is next week and he needs to gain no less than 150grams by then.

It's a huge adjustment, I try sleeping when he sleeps, it's easier at night than during the day - but if I get some sleep, it's better than none.  No amount of sleep deprivation can hide that I am so in love with my little boy!