Today's appointment didn't go as well as I had hoped. I'm 31 weeks 4 days along. Baby is stressed, there is almost no fluid left (5,5cm with the amniotic fluid index), but he has gained 303g - he weighs 1,919kg now. I'm sure it's all partly because of all the Milo I've been drinking. He hasn't turned, and doesn't have enough fluid to try, feet are at his face so he's still breech. He also said that babies that have been stressed normally do very well. The umbilical chord is near his neck, doesn't look like it's around, but hanging just behind. I'm wasn't so comfortable hearing that though.
Dr doesn't want to take any chances and will deliver him by CS on 28 June if nothing happens sooner, but basically my bags have to be packed and ready. My next appointment is on 26 June, and then we will run through everything with the Dr, what will happen, who's who and hopefully also get to meet the Paed. Dr told us that he always trusts a mother's instinct and that we should rather err on the side of caution and go to the labour ward immediately if I am worried or if I feel that anything could be wrong.
Dr said he hopes our baby will be around 2,4kg by then, and I'll be 34 weeks on the dot. He thinks there is a good chance that baby will not have to be kept in NICU and that we will be able to take him home when it's home time. His little lungs should be good to go, given the steroid injections I had the other day.
This is all happening so fast, I can't really think straight. I can't remember what we did with today's scan either, I think maybe we left it there at the doctor's rooms. Can't really blame us, can you?
When he told us we both kind of just sat there, not really knowing what to say. I knew there was a possibility of the baby still arriving early, but nothing can prepare you for hearing those words. We drove home, got inside and sat down, mostly in silence. I think hubby's head was racing just as much as mine was. We phoned our families to give them the news and watched some TV together. Later we started chatting a little, and I asked him if he is ready to be a dad and he said he's been ready all along. He also said he can't wait to have Ashton here with us, and then asked me how I feel. I don't know. We also laughed.
I feel scared, nervous, overwhelmed, worried, excited, and so many other feelings all at once. Almost as if I'm in disbelief. This all feels so unreal. I know we are in good hands, just that there is so much to try and sort in the next 2 weeks, and then there is the work situation. I already emailed the directors to give them the news and tell them I need my retrenchment and maternity package sorted out. I'm stressing about having to leave without having this resolved.
But - one thing I can say, is that I've never felt all the feelings I'm feeling now, all at once. I can't explain, it's so soon, but we've waited for so long for this little miracle so I am beyond happy that we will get to bring him home in the next few weeks (days!). God has this. We've been in His hands all along. I think 'life' could be about to begin.
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