Have I ever tried to explain just how much I love this little body? Honestly, I don't think I could ever explain the love I feel for him. It's like nothing else in this life.
Having been through some really rough days and nights and feeling so broken sometimes because I am so exhausted, I always manage to perk right up when I see his little face light up when he sees me.
Did motherhood come easily? Initially it didn't. I was terrified. Today though, or for now anyway, I think it is a bit easier. You just follow your instinct, it really does kick in. I've learnt not to doubt myself, although in the beginning I doubted abso;utely everything.
Before I had a baby I never left the house without washing and blow drying my hair. Never left home without makeup on. I never had milk stains or gob all over my shirts, but now that I do it's okay. I never felt at ease in my skin, but somehow I do now. I was always organized and remembered most things. These days I forget. Call it sleep deprivation - actually I never got by on so little sleep.
Motherhood has been the most exhilirating, terrifying, extreme and most wonderful experience. I've said before that having a baby has been the single most significant experience of my life.
Has it changed me? Has he changed me? I think so. I'll probably write a bit more on this topic later on, when I remember to. What I will say though, is only now do I understand a mother's love.
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