"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (thanks Robyn)
Feels like somehow I've lost a few days. I've been keeping busy, trying to keep my mind off of things, spending some time with good friends, and my sexy husband. Some days I feel I need to make the most of my life right now, and others I think I need to relax, and sleep in more. I'm so indecisive. I'm also trying to make a digital wedding invite for a friend's wedding next year. I seriously wish I would fall into a pot of inspiration.
Today I can sit here and say I've realized a few things. Things I'm okay with. I'm okay with going to baby showers, I'm okay with going to birthday parties, I'm okay with chatting to mommies and mommies to be about their babies, looking at their photos, sharing the joys of their lives.
I'm not okay with hearing the words "baby dust", that silly imaginary stuff that is meant to bring babies your way. I'm not okay with feeling miserable as often as I have been. I'm not okay with silly things people say because they don't know any better. I don't want to hear about babies being dumped in the trash, as if they are rubbish, and medical waste; or burnt almost to death in their parents' shacks. I'm not okay with hearing about the abuse of any kind of child. All these things make me want to breathe fire.
I've spent some more time at the children's home up the road, something that's very close to my heart. If I can't have my own babies just yet, I can at least still give of myself to those that need love. For now they can have me.
I told Dh I've been thinking about doing a bit of research on HSG testing. It's basically a test where they use a dye to see if your tubes (in my case one tube) are blocked, which can be picked up on a scan. I think it would be good to know if this tube of mine is in good condition, after being repaired. Dh is worried that I'm stressing about this, and I'm really not, the doctor said there's a 25% chance that I will have another ectopic so I'm just trying to find out as much as I can so I know what options are out there. Dh says that he will love me no matter what, even if the worst happens, what ever the worst is. AF is probably due around the 30th July, so I can start finding out about the HSG testing in the mean time.
We're going away for a weekend in August. It's Dh's uncle's 60th Birthday, and they are keeping 2 chalets for us at Glory Hill. One for his mom and dad, and one for us. It should be really nice. We went to visit them and to stay there for our birthdays last year and had such an awesome time. Oh gosh... our birthday's are around the corner.
I'll say it again, it's already 21st July?
Feels like somehow I've lost a few days. I've been keeping busy, trying to keep my mind off of things, spending some time with good friends, and my sexy husband. Some days I feel I need to make the most of my life right now, and others I think I need to relax, and sleep in more. I'm so indecisive. I'm also trying to make a digital wedding invite for a friend's wedding next year. I seriously wish I would fall into a pot of inspiration.
Today I can sit here and say I've realized a few things. Things I'm okay with. I'm okay with going to baby showers, I'm okay with going to birthday parties, I'm okay with chatting to mommies and mommies to be about their babies, looking at their photos, sharing the joys of their lives.
I'm not okay with hearing the words "baby dust", that silly imaginary stuff that is meant to bring babies your way. I'm not okay with feeling miserable as often as I have been. I'm not okay with silly things people say because they don't know any better. I don't want to hear about babies being dumped in the trash, as if they are rubbish, and medical waste; or burnt almost to death in their parents' shacks. I'm not okay with hearing about the abuse of any kind of child. All these things make me want to breathe fire.
I've spent some more time at the children's home up the road, something that's very close to my heart. If I can't have my own babies just yet, I can at least still give of myself to those that need love. For now they can have me.
I told Dh I've been thinking about doing a bit of research on HSG testing. It's basically a test where they use a dye to see if your tubes (in my case one tube) are blocked, which can be picked up on a scan. I think it would be good to know if this tube of mine is in good condition, after being repaired. Dh is worried that I'm stressing about this, and I'm really not, the doctor said there's a 25% chance that I will have another ectopic so I'm just trying to find out as much as I can so I know what options are out there. Dh says that he will love me no matter what, even if the worst happens, what ever the worst is. AF is probably due around the 30th July, so I can start finding out about the HSG testing in the mean time.
We're going away for a weekend in August. It's Dh's uncle's 60th Birthday, and they are keeping 2 chalets for us at Glory Hill. One for his mom and dad, and one for us. It should be really nice. We went to visit them and to stay there for our birthdays last year and had such an awesome time. Oh gosh... our birthday's are around the corner.
I'll say it again, it's already 21st July?
No comments:
Post a Comment