Merry Christmas my little one, where ever you are now. It's Christmas today and I wish you were here with us. I miss you even though I never got the chance to know you. Someone was missing at Christmas, it was you my little one.
Somone is Missing at Christmas
~ ~Author Unknown
Let this be a loving reminder
That someone is missing today.
Someone our hearts hold on to
As we travel along life’s way.
Someone who won’t be forgotten,
But cherished from year to year.
And now as we celebrate Christmas,
Let us fondly recall
How deeply each of us loved them.
And oh… how they loved us all.
In life, there are no guarantees and things often don't quite work out as you had hoped, planned or thought. This blog has been my saving grace, through my first pregnancy and recovering from the loss. Today I sit in wonder about how incredible life can be, and that despite all odds, I've finally become a mom!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thailand, here WE come!
I entered a competition a while ago... and forgot all about it. Today I got a call from Simply Asia saying that I won tickets for 2 to Thailand! What a completely awesome, totally unexpected surprize! I've always wanted to go to Thailand, and we both love Thai Food. Can't wait!
We've got to pay for our accommodation and food, which is absolutley fine! So excited!
And before you ask, YES this is legit!
We've got to pay for our accommodation and food, which is absolutley fine! So excited!
And before you ask, YES this is legit!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Happy holidays.
The holidays are here! I'm sick as a dog, it's hot as ever, but I'm happy because I got to put my feet in the sand and get to spend some time with my gorgeous man...
Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays!
Monday, December 20, 2010
It's Negative.
Turns out the machine showed a high positive so they sent my blood to George to be sure. I better face it, it's just not my year. Here's to 2011!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
HUH.
My mom and I went to the Klein Karoo Medi Clinic this morning, so that I could have bloods done. I specifically wanted the beta hcg, the one that can check any levels of hcg in the blood. Their service was really quick, and really great, however we were the only people there, imagine that.
We sat for about 5 minutes, then a nurse came out to call us into the consulting room. I explained to her that I need the beta hcg test but I haven't seen a doctor to refer us and gave a short summary of my history, and also said that in Jhb you need a doctor's referral for them to do the test. She said no problem and phoned a doctor to get his ok quick, and then called someone to come and draw the blood. Ouch, I hate needles! It was over quick enough though, and then she went to phone the lab lady who came in especially to run my blood. I filled in a form afterwards and she said it would take up to an hour, so we sat and waited. 50 Minutes later the lab lady came back to say sorry the machine stopped working, and they need to send the blood to George. Now we wait. She's going to call me back tomorrow afternoon with my results.
Oh gosh, now what? Ok maybe I'll skip the wine until I know, either way I need to know.
I'm not getting my hopes up but I can't help but wonder... I'm on CD33 today.
We sat for about 5 minutes, then a nurse came out to call us into the consulting room. I explained to her that I need the beta hcg test but I haven't seen a doctor to refer us and gave a short summary of my history, and also said that in Jhb you need a doctor's referral for them to do the test. She said no problem and phoned a doctor to get his ok quick, and then called someone to come and draw the blood. Ouch, I hate needles! It was over quick enough though, and then she went to phone the lab lady who came in especially to run my blood. I filled in a form afterwards and she said it would take up to an hour, so we sat and waited. 50 Minutes later the lab lady came back to say sorry the machine stopped working, and they need to send the blood to George. Now we wait. She's going to call me back tomorrow afternoon with my results.
Oh gosh, now what? Ok maybe I'll skip the wine until I know, either way I need to know.
I'm not getting my hopes up but I can't help but wonder... I'm on CD33 today.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
OK! Enough!
I'm late! On CD32 today. AF was meant to show up around 4 days ago. I've been getting negative hpts all along, another one today. I don't know what's going on! Today I used the clear blue digital hpt. After 3 minutes of it flashing it said "not pregnant" - I can't understand what's going on with me.... my boobs have been sore since CD28 and I've been having cramps but nothing whatsoever. I thought she'd make a show for it today but nothing, not even a spot. This isn't funny any more (not that it was before).
GRRRRRR!
GRRRRRR!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Soon it's Good Bye 2010...
... and what a year it's been. I've been reflecting on the past year and while so much good has happened, I can't help but also remember the bad. I guess where I'm sitting now I'm stronger than I was before. Isn't that an accomplishment? I've spent time worrying about life, work gave me unnecessary stress, trying to heal my mind and my heart, trying to start a family, trying to get to know myself again. I also spent time making changes to my life, trying to enjoy all things good, trying to reconnect with my husband and know I've come a long way.
So it's not with a heavy heart that I'll good bye to 2010, but a bigger, wizer one, one that holds more love and tolerance, more patience, more strength, more everything...
We leave for holiday at the end of the week, think this has come well deserved.
For 2011 my wish is to make a fresh new start, and come what may.
"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. ~Author Unknown"
So it's not with a heavy heart that I'll good bye to 2010, but a bigger, wizer one, one that holds more love and tolerance, more patience, more strength, more everything...
We leave for holiday at the end of the week, think this has come well deserved.
For 2011 my wish is to make a fresh new start, and come what may.
"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. ~Author Unknown"
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