Baby Shower Photos by Gaynor Mapi Photography

How gorgeous are these photos?  I just love them, thank you so much Gaynor!  So blessed to have had you there, and my dear friend, thank you for capturing the day.  

This is me @ 29 Weeks

29 weeks and getting bigger by the day (feels like it anyway)... Feeling great, just a bit tired.

The Name Game

We have finally agreed, and settled on the name Ashton for our little boy.  We each made a list of names we liked, swapped lists, and would you believe the only name that remained on both was Ashton.  I really hope he looks like an 'Ashton', all the boys I've ever seen/ had the pleasure of meeting with this name were rather gorgeous!


Guess we'll have to wait and see!

Surprise Baby Shower!

I had such a great weekend, and a surprise baby shower on Saturday which was the cherry on the cake.  I had no clue, I thought I was going for soup and bread and to help finish party decorations. 

Everything was so beautifully set up, and we were so spoilt.  I am so blessed and so happy to have such wonderful friends in my life.  I have been to so many baby showers in the last 2 and a bit years, all of them special in their own way.  Sometimes I did feel sad because we lost our first little one, and we had been battling for so long to try and get pregnant again, but I loved seeing the glows of happiness each time.  Happiness is contagious, and if anything it only gave me more hope that it is going to happen to us one day - and finally, it's my turn.

The best of all is that I will get to share this beautiful experience with so many wonderful friends. 

Can't wait to show off my little miracle boy, Ashton.


Here are some pictures:

This is me @ 28 Weeks!

I'm now starting to run out of clothing quite quickly.  Been through my cupboard 3 times already to sort out what fits and what doesn't, and my wardrobe selection is getting smaller and smaller by the week.  Uh oh!  Pay day needs to come already, so that I can dash out and get a few things.  Also doesn't help that it's so cold these days, none of my jerseys go over my belly, and I have one jacket that can JUST close.

I'm still in awe - it's so weird seeing how big my belly has become, and quite amazing to see how the body changes to accommodate the baby growing in there.  My little string bean is such a busy boy.  I am so in love with him already, and so blessed to be able to experience this miracle growing inside me.

Looking forward to our next Dr appointment, been listening to Drs orders, taking it easy, eating and drinking well.

This is me @ 27 Weeks

I was having a lazy week, nearly forgot to take a pic!  Here's a quick one, taken while I was lying on the couch.

Scan, 27 Weeks 5 Days

Back to the doc for our check up this morning... for some reason traffic has been really bad the last few visits.  Anyway we made it there in time.

We had to go in the back door because the Dr took his Receptionist's keys the night before and he hadn't come in yet.  She let us in, and as we sat down (after her locking up behind us), it was time to go to the loo.  Such an inopportune time.  I collected my sample cup (routine by now), she let me out the back door, made my way to the bathroom and went to do my thing.

After getting back I had been sitting for about 5 mins when the Dr arrived and we went straight through.  He asked the usual questions... and then we got down to business.

Dr asked if I had experienced any swelling and I said I hadn't really noticed anything.  When I took my shoes off he looked down and with a worried face asked if I'm sure because my feet look a bit swollen. I said no, they look totally normal to me - my feet are just fat.  He said my belly has grown nicely, and I said it has, people have been commenting - and he said other people are always good crits, you can usually judge things by their comments.  He then felt my belly and said it has grown quite a bit since we last saw him, which is really good.

The scans never cease to amaze me.  Our first glimpse showed the baby's head near my left ribs, with both feet in front of his face.   Dr said he was in a breech position.  What a strange sight - seeing this little face, and then two feet just in front of it.  He then took a few measurements, and looked at a few things, showed us where the umbilical chord was (I had really been worrying about this), and there was nothing to worry about.  We also got to see baby's tummy, bladder, head, feet, chord (love those precious little feet - can't wait to kiss them), and a slight view of his face (as good as the monitor can show I imagine).

He checked the amniotic fluid.  Still low but slightly better - he said the baby has some fluid so he should be able to turn.  He needs to start turning from now onwards.  He also said some people don't feel anything when the baby turns, and others do.  

A little while later baby seemed to change positions - because when we looked again there were two feet on one side and his head on the other side.  Chord safely between the feet.  

My little string bean weighs 1,227 kgs today, at 27 weeks 5 days.

My weight is ok, I have lost 200 grams since the last appointment - which I can't understand, I've been eating a lot more and drinking plenty of fluids.

All in all the Dr was happy.  We see him again in 2 weeks' time.

Here's a pic of the scan - we only managed to get foot pictures today, aren't they precious?

Nursery Project: Mirrors

I bought two little pink heart mirrors a while back, and I wanted to put them up in our bedroom.  Actually I did.  Hubby hated them so much he took them down and put them away in the cupboard.  He wanted to throw them away!  Bottom line is I think he hates pink.  Especially baby pink.  Oops.

Anyway, I took them down this morning.  I decided to paint them and use them in the baby's room.  That way I can still have them up and enjoy them!

So my beloved little hand painted mirrors went from PINK to YELLOW.  I actually really like them in yellow, have a look.  Will put them up as soon as they have dried.

BEFORE:

 AFTER (ok probably more of a DURING, but you get the idea):

Nursery Project: Changing Station Before & After

I got home after class yesterday (it was test day too!) and we took a drive to Builders Warehouse to buy some paint for the changing station.  While we were there we also picked up 2 floating shelves, and some hooks for the picture frames.

So daddy to be's project yesterday was to paint the changing station.  The lime green has changed to Acqua blue!  I took a sneak peak of him while he was busy working on it, and one after it was done.  The table is actually a lot bigger than I thought, so now I'm trying to think what I should put up where.  I'd still like to change the handles, but if I don't find what I'm looking for at a good price, they will stay white like in the picture.

Here are the before, during and after pics!   I'd still like to change the handles, but only if I find what I'm looking for at a good price.  If not, they will stay white like in the picture.

BEFORE:

DURING:

AFTER:

To My Mom on Mother's Day

All that I am, or ever hoped to be, I owe to you Mom.  Happy Mother's Day.  I wish I could be there with you.  Miss you terribly xx 

My mom is still not well, think it will take a long time for her to make a recovery.  She still has moments where she will phone and ask me where I am, but at other times she remembers.  

I pray that I will have her for a few more years still.  I need her.  The last time we spoke, she told me that her leg is better, but she still can't use her arm or hand properly.  I wish I could have my mom back already.  She still thinks she is going to come here in August. I just left it at that, and didn't let her think otherwise.

Mother's Day Letter to My Boy

It's Mother's Day today and my heart is so happy it could burst - I can't wait to meet my son.  It feels like I  gotten to know this little boy so well already that I should recognize him when they hand him to me.  


I have felt him move and kick so many times already, and the best part is that for now he's just mine.  How difficult is it to let them into the world where you can't protect them from everything, and where you have to share them with others?  


To my little boy,


I've been waiting and praying for you for so long, and this year we were blessed. 

I loved you from the very moment I suspected you were here, and I worried about whether or not we would get to keep you. 

I promise you that I will be the best mom that I can be.  I want you to know what it feels like to be loved.  As much as I wish you will grow up to be the perfect man, the truth is we can only give you guidance and instill in you the values and principles that were instilled in us.  One day the choices you will make will be your own but I pray that you will grow up to be gentle, and that you will know right from wrong. 

Your daddy is the most incredible man, and I pray that you grow up to be a little like him, but that you will still be your own person.  He's strong, kind and gentle - I just know he is going to be an amazing father to you.  We've had our tough times, and ups and downs, but our relationship is that much stronger because of it.  I can't wait for you to get to know him, you are going to love him.


They say the first woman a little boy falls in love with is his mom.  I am so excited for the day we get to meet you, and for the day I get to hear you call me 'Mommy'.  You have stolen a place in my heart that was empty. 


I love you my baby boy. 


Your mommy
  
"Lord, build me a son, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory."

Dreams

I think the weirdest part of being pregnant so far is the dreaming.

Some mornings I've woken up asking myself - WHERE did that some from?  Other times I wake up in the middle of the night, tell myself to remember but by morning there is no memory.  I should get a notepad next to my bed, but that's just another thing to try and remember to do.

Here are bits of a few that I could remember:

2nd Trimester:

Been sleeping really well.  Had a few dreams I can't remember, but here are some:

Last night (04/04) I dreamt quite a few things, but I can only remember this part - I was at home, sitting outside with friends, and all of a sudden it got really windy and cold.  I ran inside to close the windows in the nursery, and when I got into the room the curtains were waving around, windows wide open, and my baby was freezing cold!  I felt like a bad mom, and did everything I could do to warm him up.   I was so scared my baby would die from the cold.  Sounds silly hey?

This weekend actually (18/02) - I dreamt I was visiting a children's home around the corner from us.  Nothing new here, I often stop by there.  The house mother greeted me with her usual hug, we chatted about the kids and then she told me about her newest addition.  A baby that survived an abortion.  It was really small, and she was nursing it trying to keep it alive.  I was a bit freaked out and heartsore to see this, even when I woke up.  It's still playing on my mind.  So, where did that come from?    In reality, the housemother has done this before - 2 youngsters rang the bell at her gate and said she must take the baby (failed abortion, aborted at 6 months pregnant).  She refused and said they first had to bring a letter from the welfare.  They returned with the baby and the letter (I didn't ask how the baby was being carried and in what).  She cleaned out an old 5L oil container, lined it with cotton wool and padding and nursed that baby.  That little girl will be 3 years old this year and she is such a precious child.

(end Feb) Recently I had a dream that I was in the bush somewhere, and there was a pack of wolves trying to attack me.  I was trying to save a puppy.  I turned my back to them to protect the puppy, and when they pounced, I woke up.  Okay, somehow that sounds cliche.


This last week (11 May) there were 3 nights that I woke up during the night due to bad dreams.  I can't remember all the details, but on Tuesday night I dreamt I had no money in my bank account, and I couldn't by food for my baby.  I was stressing about how I was going to get some money.  Not a nice feeling.  Made me think of all the people out there with a permanent struggle to make ends meat.  That feeling in my dream of not being able to provide for my child is something I never want to experience.  On Wednesday night, I had the most terrible dream, I dreamt my husband died.  I remember seeing myself crying my heart out, that my baby would never get to meet him.  Needless to say I couldn't go back to sleep after that, so Wednesday was a long day at work, and I was exhausted.  On Thursday night again I woke up, but I can't remember what the dream was about.  I just remember feeling sweaty.

First Trimester:

I tossed and turned for quite a few nights.  Some nights I woke up right throughout the night due to the strange dreams.

In one I was a special agent, there was a dog and a cat and a beautiful house.  And we had guns.  

In another I was attending a family reunion at a cabin lodge near the ocean.  The lodge was called "The Earth".  I went for a walk down the road, which was long and winding, and got lost.  Ended up somewhere at another house.  I took a shower in the bathroom (which had royal blue and black tiles, laid out in a chevron pattern, with funky accessories), but there were no blinds or curtains so I had to shower in the dark.  I could see out the window and familiar people were sitting at some of the tables downstairs.  I got out, dried myself off and got dressed into a yellow party dress, one with polka dots and all.  And some red satin shoes.  I realized it was getting late and had to try and find my way back.  I found the long winding road again and made my way back in what I felt had to be the right direction.  The shoes were starting to hurt my feet.  I went around a bend in the road, and on the right was a little house/ cabin with a bunch of boys standing in the road out front.  They were all wearing black.  I continued walking on the left of the road, and they saw me (all colourful, how could they miss me).  They started calling me and running after me so I ran, I had to kick my shoes off to run faster.  Eventually I got back to where I started.  I had to try and cross the road, but cars were speeding down it.  A few times I felt it was time to cross I had to hold back.  I waited, and then took my chances and ran.  Not only was the road long, it was wide as well.  On the other side I bumped into a guy who asked me where I was going, and I told him I'm looking for "the Earth".  He said I am here, and he will show me where to go but in return I need to buy him 5 shots of chilled brandy from the bar.  I could buy 5 chilled shots for R200.  Where did that come from?

Hubby's dream:

He shared a dream he had with me.  He said he thinks he knows what it's about.  He was driving around a corner, not going fast, and lost control of the car.  It flew up and around and landed on it's wheels on the grass between the trees.  He pulled down the side, used someone's driveway and got back on the road again.  He couldn't get back to sleep and was tossing and turning till about 5 and then slept till his alarm went off, which wasn't great sleep.  He said he thinks his mind is worried about losing control over his life journey, but he knows you can't control things even through you want to.  He feels his mind is telling him to just let things happen, not everything that seems bad at the time turns out badly.  Even after losing control in his dream, everything was fine.  Scary and relief at the same time, which was weird.


Another one:
I dreamt I was on a road trip, and the baby was in the car!  I made a pit stop for a loo break and to feed and change the baby, so I got out the car, slung my bags over my shoulder, unclipped the car seat and made my way in to the place, squeezing past people sitting at the tables and chairs out front.  I got into the bathroom, and headed into the first open cubicle. It was tiny!  Barely space to do anything else other than sit on the toilet, with a tiny basin and vanity.  I had a cover over the car seat and lifted it to look at my baby, such a beautiful little face with big bright eyes and blonde hair, almost angelic.  That's all I remember!

Will keep updating this post, as they happen.

Baby Waking Me Up

We see the doc again on Tuesday morning, I'm really hoping that my amniotic fluid has increased.  He did say if the baby is moving around a lot it is a good sign - and he has been.  

Last week baby's moving woke me up in the morning.  Every morning since Tuesday, and for the first time I felt him on both sides - quite a weird feeling.  Instead of getting up I just lie there for a while enjoying it.  Life is truly such a miracle.  I hope I will remember how this felt.  

I wonder how much my baby has grown since the last appointment.  I hope everything is ok.  It feels like everything's just fine, though in the back of my head I still worry.

This is Me @ 26 Weeks

26 Weeks... I'm so glad I decided to take these photos every week, it's amazing to see the changes.

My boy is busier than ever, I am sure I have said this before, but I just love feeling him move around.  I'm taking it as easy as possible, resting lots and making a conscious effort not to let anything stress me out too much.  

How To Get a Man to Jump Out of Bed!

This is something I have to remember, it was hilarious.  Too funny not to share!  Maybe you had to be there, I'm still giggling about this.

Last night, just before we were going to turn off the lights and go to bed, I leaned over to kiss hubby good night, and my belly pushed down on his arm.  Next thing I know he's up and out of the bed!  He said he felt the baby wriggle or something - obviously he wasn't expecting it, so he got a big fright and jumped RIGHT out of the bed! 

He then said he's worried about hurting the baby, and I shouldn't squash him like that - poor thing!  I only leaned over a little you know, and very gently, but I didn't feel anything?


Jumpy much?  How strange.

2nd Shots Done

We went back to the hospital for my second set of shots on Thursday night, so I'm happy that those are all done.  I was a big baby again, much to my husband's delight.  I am convinced he gets a kick out of this kind of thing.  So now we wait till 15th to see our doctor again.  


I must say the time off this week has been really good.  I had yet another blissful pajama day yesterday.  I was lying in bed yesterday morning, and decided to test out the kick counting theory.  Well, from 07h11 to 07h18 I counted 10 kicks.  That's 10 kicks in 7 minutes - wonder if there's a little soccer star in there?

Couch Potatoes

I was lying on the couch this afternoon, in a nice warm patch of sun.  Our puppy also noticed the sunny spot and came to lie with me.  How cute are these pictures?

I was lying on the couch this afternoon, in a nice warm patch of sun.  Our little one also noticed the sunny spot and came to lie with me.  She fell asleep on my belly.  How cute are these pictures?

Injections - first shots done

I realized again this morning what a big baby I am. The needle itself was fine, but the meds burnt!  I'm still grumpy, but I know it's all for a good cause.  I didn't sleep much last night I was so nervous, I really hate injections.  I'm poep scared of injections and of worms, in case you never knew.

It took us forever to get there, the traffic was a nightmare. Hubby is working from home today so that he could go with me. We went to pick up the meds from the dispensary, and the lady there was really sweet.  Telling us she had to have the same thing and everything would be fine.

Then we went up to the labour ward. We rang the bell a few times cause we couldn't just walk in.  When we got in, we handed over the meds to the nurse and hubby had to go downstairs to open an NST file whatever that means.  I went through to delivery room one, and was left alone while the nurse (I think that's what she was) went to sort out the needles.  I looked around at everything, saw some interesting and weird things.  She then came back and strapped me up and I lay there for about 20 mins listening to baby's heart beat while waiting for hubby to get back.  My dr also popped in to say hi - he was about to go to theatre and she told him I was there.  Everything was good with baby boy's heart beat.  He even kicked up against the monitor a few times!  Baby's kicks are getting stronger and stronger, if I hadn't known he is a boy I would have guessed so by now.  I haven't felt any pain yet though, but I have noticed my belly jump every now and then, especially with my laptop on my "lap".


She then felt my belly and made some comments, you could see she's done this thousands of times before.

Ok the injection - hubby walked in just in time -  I had to phone him first to see where he was and why he was gone for so long.  I turned on my side and gripped onto the rail. By now he was laughing.  She started injecting the needle and I flinched, and hubby laughed some more - I think he enjoyed seeing this.  The meds burnt like crazy, and yes I'm probably a baby for saying it.  And then we were done!

Basically, the reason he took so long is because he was chatting to them about my 'situation' and what NST meant.  In short - the hospital is now ready for me and the paperwork is all taken care of in case I need to go in.  So no need to go back to book a bed, it's all done. 

Back tonight for round two. 

I was feeling sorry for myself, I asked to go and get me some chocolate to make me feel better.  It worked :)


Here are 2 pics from the delivery room... not as cold and as scary as I imagined.