A General Update

As of 1 November 2012 I will no longer be an unemployment statistic.  I have found what seems to be an awesome job!  I was starting to seriously run out of money with all the expenses we've incurred since Ashton's birth, and I believe this position came around at just the right time.  I'm excited to make a fresh start.  I went for my first interview at the beginning of August, second interview at the end of August.  I was upfront about my start date, and that I needed time off in December and that was alright with them. 

I was feeling so heart sore from missing my mom that I phoned my stepdad to ask him if she would be okay to come for a visit.  It was difficult to get her to the airport, so she caught the bus.  I bought her a ticket and when I phoned to tell her she was coming to visit she cried out of happiness!  She spent the entire day hugging her dog.  She is spending a week and a half with us, and might extend her stay to spend some time with my brother.  Anyway, here's a funny story - I put a special note on her ticket about her condition and that she can be forgetful - just as well.  Her bus arrived really late, I actually started worrying that she was stranded somewhere.  Her phone died when she reached Welkom, so that was the last message I had received.  When she arrived I ran to the bus door to get her, and the hostesses gave me her things, and also helped her get off the bus.  We then got into the car and I was about to head home when she said she had forgotten her suitcases!  So we stop the car, climb out and there 2 of the crew come running, both yelling that we are forgetting her luggage!  Lol.  So they brought her 4 bags to the car and we got them loaded.  I should have known, my mom still doesn't travel light.  We had a good giggle in the end.  I got a bit of a fright when I first saw her get off that bus, looked like she had aged 20 years.  Her hair was scraggly and the last dye job had just about grown out, nails long and nail polish half rubbed off, eyes older than I had ever seen. We did mani's and a fresh dye job and she already felt so much better!

Things with my dad are going better for now.  I sent him an email telling him about how I feel, and he replied eventually.  We mailed back and forth a few times, and we went to them one Sunday afternoon to celebrate a birthday.  I just needed him to know how hurt I had been feeling, especially since he didn't even come to the hospital to see his new grandson.  He said he would try to visit more.

My brother is doing as well as always.  He's career obsessed.  His girlfriend isn't well though, she's been diagnosed with Ankolysing Spondalitus (sp?) - which means she is in excruciating pain most of the time.  I pray that they will find a cure.  My brother is so stressed about it.  She is his "one" and I think he would fall apart if anything ever had to happen to her.

I finally did get to write my exam in August - can't remember now if I've posted about that, but I got 91% for it in the end.  I passed with distinction.  I see that as a huge feat, considering the circumstances at the time, so I'm really pleased with myself.

We have hired a Nanny for Ashton.  We went through an agency... Nannies In Training. I heard that apparently they are excellent. We chose 6 CVs out of the 12 that were sent to us. Two were already placed, my first and third choice. Last Sunday we interviewed the 4 ladies at Wimpy. Joyce was our first choice based on the CVs. Three of the ladies interviewed really well, and hubby preferred Joyce in person, I really liked Prosperous and Thula. I liked Joyce but had a sense that something was off as one or two things on her CV didn't make sense. We wrote them off as just being a typo. The reason we would have gone with Joyce was due to her having been on a first aid course already, and on paper she seemed a good fit. I asked her if her first aid certificate needed to be renewed and she said no.

We then asked for Joyce to come for a second interview as I wanted to see her interaction with Ashton. Anyway she came in on Friday last week, but we had to put an offer on the table prior to her arriving as someone else wanted her already. So she arrived, we got talking, and I felt uneasy. Some other things didn't make sense - she never even did first aid training, had no experience with babies, had no idea how to hold him, her surname was different, she lived somewhere else, her son was 8 and not 5 among other things. This played on my mind the whole day and I felt I wouldn't be 100% comfortable with her looking after my baby unsupervised, although she was a really nice person. She reminded me a bit of Caster Semenya - both her voice and her face. Hubby got home after a while she left. Something came over me and as I closed the gate and turned to look at him, I burst into tears (yes, again!). Hubby gave me one of his big old bear hugs and I couldn't put my finger on it but in my heart of hearts I didn't want to leave my son with this woman. I suppose you don't want to leave your children with anyone, but I just couldn't leave him with HER. She didn't even know to hold his neck, or pick him up properly, and those are two basic things. The feeding didn't go that well either, and it wasn't that she was nervous. It seemed like she had never done this before. On Saturday morning I woke up with the same horrible feeling. I told my hubby about what was playing on my mind and said I was going to call the agency to chat to them. I'm so relieved I did that because it was actually huge mix up. They had 2 Joyces on the cards, and managed to swap them around. The real Joyce never got to meet us, but you could almost swear it was the right person at the first meeting. The agency was very apologetic and offered to fix the mess. I then immediately asked for Prosperous to come for a second interview as well as a meeting with the real Joyce. Thula had already been placed.

Let me just say, Prosperous came in on Sunday, and she was so good with Ashton that I felt 100% more comfortable with the idea of leaving him with her. She also used her own initiative and went on the child minding / baby care course and scored 97%. She didn't have first aid training though, but I'm happy to send her on it. We were supposed to meet real Joyce today, but the agency phoned to say she had injured herself and had to go to hospital. We then decided to go with Prosperous. I feel so bad for other Joyce though, as she now has to accept an offer (less money) from another family, but I can't let that stop me from hiring the right nanny for Ashton. He is the most important thing at the end of the day. I did request that the agency liaises with her regarding their mess up, and I told them I want another free course for Prosperous. She has already done the baby and toddler care course (which forms part of the placement fee), so no point in redoing it unless she plans to get 100%. The agency offered to cover her fees for a Home Care course, and I will be paying for her First Aid course.  Means she will have some additional qualifications to add to her CV.

In my heart of hearts, I don't think I'll ever really trust someone completely with my child, but with Prosperous I at least have a good feeling.

Things with hubby are okay.  I miss sleeping next to him.  I still sleep in the baby's room, but some nights I cuddle with hubby in our bed until it's time for him to go to sleep.  I really need to move back in there, I'm still his wife even though I've become a mother.  I guess I just want to be close in case the baby needs me so I'll deal with that another time.