My precious boy, life as a mom

Have I ever tried to explain just how much I love this little body?  Honestly, I don't think I could ever explain the love I feel for him.  It's like nothing else in this life.

Having been through some really rough days and nights and feeling so broken sometimes because I am so exhausted, I always manage to perk right up when I see his little face light up when he sees me. 

Did motherhood come easily?  Initially it didn't.  I was terrified.  Today though, or for now anyway, I think it is a bit easier.  You just follow your instinct, it really does kick in.  I've learnt not to doubt myself, although in the beginning I doubted abso;utely everything. 

Before I had a baby I never left the house without washing and blow drying my hair.  Never left home without makeup on.  I never had milk stains or gob all over my shirts, but now that I do it's okay.  I never felt at ease in my skin, but somehow I do now.  I was always organized and remembered most things.  These days I forget.  Call it sleep deprivation - actually I never got by on so little sleep.

Motherhood has been the most exhilirating, terrifying, extreme and most wonderful experience.  I've said before that having a baby has been the single most significant experience of my life.

Has it changed me?   Has he changed me? I think so.  I'll probably write a bit more on this topic later on, when I remember to.  What I will say though, is only now do I understand a mother's love.

A Dad's Love...

"Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad." ~Author Unknown

As I said before, my hubby is smitten with his little (our) boy.  He has all the time in the world for him, no matter how long it takes to wind him, or to console him when he's upset.  In the afternoons he's been spending more and more time with Ashton during his awake time.  Some afternoons they both have a snooze on the bed, and some afternoons it's all three of us.   

I think hubby has quite a bit of fun with the toys... he also lifts Ashton up and "shows" him the toys on the toy shelf, "shows" him his bedroom and the pictures on the wall, talks to him and reads stories to him.

It's been so amazing watching him turn into a dad.  I think I've fallen in love with him a little again since seeing this new side to him.

                                      

"Growing" Used To It

I think hubby is getting used to the idea, now that my belly is growing.  He's started feeling my belly without me telling him to give me his hand!


Last night I kissed him good night and went upstairs, and before I turned away he opened my dressing gown to feel and see my belly.  He said it's gotten much bigger, and probably will still...


Later he came up to bed, and snuggled right up to me, and felt my belly again... 


I love this man!  Can't wait for him to become a daddy and to see the look on his face when he hold his boy for the very first time.

Love and Happiness

"I'm proud of my heart.  It's been, stabbed, burned and broken yet somehow it still works." And, today it bursts with love and happiness.


Things at home are good.  I think hubby's getting used to the idea that there's a baby on the way.  He often comes up behind me, puts his arms around me and my belly.  Kind of like a big bear hug from behind.  


He often asks "How's my baby doing?",  and last night when I answered and said he's been very busy.  I went to lie with him on the couch, so he could feel, and our little boy pushed up against his hand a good few times.  


It is the most incredible feeling in the world, knowing we've become a family, for reals.

Milestone: My Boy is Moving!

I have felt a few strange bubbles every now and then, but now I know for sure it's my boy that's been moving!  It's such an incredible feeling, and so weird at the same time.  He's moving properly, there is no doubt that what I'm feeling is him.  Ever since Saturday night (18 March)!

Last night I told hubby his baby has been quite busy, so he wanted to feel.  As luck would have it there was nothing.  I told him to keep his hand there, and while later he felt something move and asked if that was a fart on the way.  Laughing, I told him NO that is your baby!  He had a weird look on his face, but the most gorgeous smile when he felt it.  So in love with this man, and so, so happy.