Life As We Know It...

Very soon, life as we know it is going to be changed forever.  


In 8 days, my miracle baby boy will be born, and although he will be 6 weeks early, we can't wait to finally have him here with us.  I pray that he will be born healthy, and without any serious problems.  I know I am in the best hands with regards to the surgery, my doctor saved my life once before so I trust him completely.   


We went on a tour of the hospital yesterday afternoon, and all of a sudden this all started feeling so real.  We got to see the labour wards, the nursery, a slight glimpse of the theatre and the post natal wards.  I wish we had some extra money so I could have a nice room to be by myself, but I'll make do with the general ward, it's actually not that bad at all.


We did our 'final' shopping on Saturday morning...  and we managed to get everything except for preemie baby grows, which I found the day before yesterday - to fit babies up to 2,5kg.  One would think these would be easier to find.  I must say I've noticed hubby's been far more protective since Saturday.  He wouldn't let me stand too close to anyone in case they bumped into me, or knocked me over... even walking through busy parts he would walk first, making me follow.  I wonder what he's feeling, and what he's thinking...  he doesn't say too much, but I do know that he is ecstatic and also cannot wait to meet our son.


On a positive note, we finally settled on an agreement at work.  I'm getting a retrenchment package, and all the paperwork has been sorted out and signed, including my UIF documents.  My last day of work is Monday, 25th June, and then I become a stay at home wife and mom.  I'll start looking for a new job in September, depending on how it goes with our little boy.  I've been so stressed about being unemployed and about finances, I almost couldn't think straight.  


My mom really wants to come and visit us, but she's still not 100% health wise.  She does sound so much better on the phone - not her old self though.  She was talking about taking the bus.  I worry about her so much.  I feel that a bus ride is too long for her in her condition, and that she shouldn't come up until she's made a good recovery, I would hate if something had to happen while she's here and have to take her to a government hospital.  I also know she still has a lot of doctors' visits ahead of her so she needs to go to them.


On Friday night I had a good cry.  I have been so stressed about money, work, my mom and baby.   Hubby and I also had a serious budget meeting, which ended up in us having a good laugh - I really needed that.  We worked through everything and he reassured me that we will be ok.  I am putting my worries aside, and trust that by God's grace, everything will work out just fine.


This Saturday is my final bookkeeping exam - yes I've stuck it out.  I actually got 75% for my test, which counts as 40% of the final mark.  I haven't had much time to study given the stuff going on, but I am sure I will be just fine.


Sunday is our maternity shoot - which I'm really looking forward to.  I've also booked our newborn shoot which will be done at the hospital - I'm so, so excited for this.


Yes, although our arms have been empty for such a long time wanting a baby of our own, one of our biggest dreams is about to come true.  I cannot wait for the moment my tiny miracle will be handed to me.  He's already anchored in my heart.


Life as we know it... 
Everything will change :)

Stress

I've been going through a bit of a stressful time at work since returning in January.  The division is being closed down, and I wasn't sure if I was being retrenched or not.  They couldn't tell me for sure what they were going to do with me - or rather "they don't know what to do with me".  Plus the fact that I'm in the dog box for something every so often, just feels like I'm someone to blame for everything that goes wrong, or doesn't happen - whether I know about it or not.  


Needless to say I went home and burst into tears.  Not just the day I didn't know what was happening with my job, but other days too.  


My hubby was amazing and really supportive during this time and he said if that is the case, so be it.  He would rather have me at home with no job and our baby than sitting at work stressing out like this and who knows what happens.  


Last week (a week later) I sent an email to my boss to say I'd appreciate if he could let me know what the intention is and that I'd much rather prefer to know so that if I am being let go I can start trying to make alternate plans.  The feedback is I'm not being retrenched. Apparently I'll be given a job description too.  


I've been thinking about doing my own thing part time for the last year or so, done quite a bit of research, and writing a plan.  I think recent events have given me the push I needed to give it a shot.  After all, what have I got to lose?  


I'll see what happens at work, but after hearing the news I already had one foot, and my heart out the door.   And I have a feeling that I shouldn't get too comfortable.  Priorities change you see, last year my priorities were mostly work related, but this year, life as I know it will change.  It's not just the two of us to look out for any more... still feels unreal saying that.  But there you have it.  Then there were three.  My family is my number one priority, just as it should be.