Maybe if I whisper, it won't be true...

I went to buy some hpts on Friday, did you know that Clicks now does a twin pack?  


Anyway, I never got to use them.


AF showed up on Friday night, 3 days early.  Maybe if I whisper, it won't be true. 


DH asked me if it's like it normally is, and maybe I can be pregnant because it's early, and I should still do a test.  I said it's never the same, and I am sorry but I'm not pregnant.  What more can I say to him?  It's all my fault, I only have one tube, and I don't even know if the other one is functioning.  I know he is disappointed even though he won't say it, and I can't make it better.  I would have been due in two months.  I had a good cry today in the shower, at least he can't hear me there.


Will we ever get to have a miracle of our own? 


Please God, I can't lose hope now, but today I'm really struggling to hold on to it.


I think I'll have a pajama day for most of today and then we're going to watch Eclipse later, something to look forward to I guess.

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

I still believe

God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.  ~Author Unknown

I've been needing  some inspiration the last while, some days have been better than others.  I found this song by Jeremy Camp, it did me a world of good.  Today I asked myself, if God had to ask me how I feel, what would I say?  I would say I still believe.  

I still believe

Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before

Seems I don't know where to start

But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It's my heart I see you prepare

But its now, that I feel, your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

Well the only place I can go is into your arms

Where I throw to you my feeble prayers well in brokenness

I can see that this was your will for me

Help me to know that you are near

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe 

I still believe

* Jeremy Camp

Cherry blossom dreams...

Soon my sister in law will be leaving for Japan.  What a wonderful opportunity!  I'm so happy for her and really hope that she will feel at home over there.  I would really love it if we could visit her one day, in Spring, to see the cherry blossom trees!  I think initially she's going over for a year, and then if she wants to stay she will need to get approval from the committee.  She's going over there to teach English.  I'm so excited for her!!!  


We met for lunch at a Thai restaurant recently, and it was really nice chatting and hearing about everything she's learnt so far, including what to do, what not to do, how to dress, and how to greet and bow.  She said staple diet will be rice, noodles, veggies and sushi.  Apparently she would need to bow lower than her elders.  I hope she will be able to bow nicely, she's quite tall! I also heard that most the keypads at the ATMs are in Japanese!  Hope she learns quick quick.  Imagine being stranded with your new bank card, and no idea how to get your money?


Here are some photos I found on photobucket, doesn't it look beautiful?  I can't wait to see the actual photos she's going to take when she's there.

New Mini and SWC viewing at work!

I was lucky enough to see the new mini the other day.  We had the launch party at work, coupled with Soccer World Cup viewing.  It's amazing what they did with the V shaped grass patch infront of our building!

 

Old people are so funny...

..don't you think?

Anyway I went to my dad for a braai on Saturday afternoon, and his mom and step dad were there (they retired to St Helena Bay and got tired and bored of living there so they've just moved back). I don't really know them that well but that's another story.

So we're sitting outside chatting and my dad's gf's family and all their kids arrive, and brought her eldest daughter's Peet Ma along, who sat next to my gran and started talking non stop.

Finally she went to the loo and my gran pipes up and says - "fark who is that woman and how does she fit in here?". "She doesn't stop chatting at all", and... wait for it... then she said, "I must have a kind face, like an old cow, and everyone just wants to talk to me".

Gotta love them!


I really want to spend more time getting to know them, although this probably won't happen.  They've never been around, or even interested.


She was such a laugh, and so funny!  You'd never say she's turning 80 this year!